The Crown without the Conflict

Not a day goes by that I don't think of my sweet baby Maxwell. It was 3 years ago today that I held my baby in my arms. Maxwell was beautiful with dark brown hair and perfectly formed fingers and toes. It was hard to believe that he was in the NICU unit. I will forever remember the day when Jeremy came to my hospital bedside and told me that our baby Maxwell was not going to make it. Like any mother would do I tried to memorize everything about my baby. I held him close to me and examined his every detail. I felt my Savior's love for me as I held Maxwell in my arms. My earthly time with my baby was drawing to a close. I remember asking myself, "How am I going to say goodbye?" I continued to hold him close and feel of his warmth, so sweet, so very very perfect. I held his perfect little hand in mine and rubbed his tiny little fingers. I was the one holding him back and I knew that I needed to say goodbye for a season. On November 2, 2005 the nurse came in and told me that I had 30 more minutes to spend with Maxwell. The medical team would be here to take Maxwell into surgery shortly. Two baby boys in Canada and Mexico were waiting on the operating table for Maxwell's organs to arrive. I continued to hold Maxwell, kissing his face and each individual toe and finger. I told him that I loved him and that our family will be forever. My heart was broken. I knew I had to let him go. Just one more kiss, one more tight squeeze, one more time holding his hand in mine, one more time feeling his heart beat next to mine....one more one more. I took a deep breath and did the hardest thing that I have ever been asked to do. Wrapped in a soft white blanket I handed Maxwell to Pam, the NICU nurse. I told her to please take care of my baby and promise to keep him warm. My eyes were fixed on Maxwell, I didn't want to look away. As I sat there in my wheelchair my heart truly felt like it was ripped from within. My arms ached and I already longed to hold my precious baby. I thought of my Savior and the Atonement, He suffered all of this as well. He not only suffered for my sins, but for my pain, my sorrow and my anguish. My Savior understood what Jeremy and I were experiencing. The nurse took me around the corner and in a matter of seconds Maxwell was gone from my sight. I went back to my hospital room and sat alone. Maxwell's mission on earth was soon to be over. The clock confirmed that his surgery would be done shortly. I left the hospital with a vacant car seat, empty arms and a broken heart. However, what I did take home was a stronger testimony of my Savior Jesus Christ. I know that life is eternal and death is not the end, but really the beginning. During this time Jeremy and I felt the power of prayer. It truly was as if angels were lifting us through a most difficult time. Our experience with Maxwell was bittersweet. We tasted the bitter and now we have been blessed to taste the sweet that follows a trial. God lives and Jesus is the Christ, I am grateful for my knowledge that families are forever and I am so grateful for the words of my Savior, "Because I live, ye shall live also." This brings such peace to my soul! What a beautiful day it will be when I can once again hold my baby in my arms. Happy 3rd Birthday Maxwell, we love you!!!!

Grant Alvin Richards Baptism and Birthday

It's Great to be 8!

One of my favorite traditions as a child was eating my birthday dinner on this red "You are Special" plate. My mom gave it to me and we have carried on the tradition. Grant actually chose something different this year for his birthday dinner. Instead of the typical ham, we had roast beast (as he likes to call it), mashed potatoes and gravy, corn, rolls, stuffing, and salad.

Thanks Uncle Barrett for helping with the kids!

On Friday, October 24th Grant celebrated his 8th birthday and received the best gift ever! He is officially a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Grant we are so proud of you and your decision to be baptized. We are so blessed to have you in our family! If G looks a little sick in this picture it is because he is. Yesterday he had a fever and was throwing up. Thank goodness he didn't throw up today, he has been such a trooper!

When I told G that his school teacher from last year was coming to his baptism he was so excited! I am so happy that she was able to make it!

Thanks everyone for all your help!!!!

I LOVE this boy!!!

Grandma "Tractor" Richards with G.

Thanks Grandpa and Grandma Tractor for coming to my baptism! Also, thank you to Uncle Barrett and cousin Elliot for driving a very long way to come and visit!

Fun with the Fam

Waiting for the trolley. Isn't my nephew Elliot the cutest thing?

Goose and Grandma Tractor at Niagara Falls.

Walking across the Peace Bridge into Canada.

Hershey Factory in Canada!

We are so happy to have our cousin stay with us for a few days. He is such a darling little boy with the best smile! I was amazed at how smart he is! The boys had fun playing in the trees and looking for frogs.

Paca Tractor and Bean on our walk to the park.

Welcome Grandma and Grandpa Tractor!

Goose made this sign to welcome Grandpa and Grandma Tractor.

Goose waiting patiently for the "Tractor's" to arrive.

Finally, it has been way to long since we have seen Grandparents! The reunion was sweet!

Bean has been all smiles and has not stopped talking since our special guests have arrived!

Cover Your Eyes!

Bean can't wait to open her surprise from Grandma!

She was so excited for this quilt made especially for her!

Thanks Grandma for the quilt! I think it turned out so cute! Thanks Aunt Gaye for helping with the quilting!

The Top of the Hill Cumorah

Palmyra, New York Temple

Sacred Grove with Grandpa and Grandma Tractor (Richards)

The Sacred Grove in the Fall.

Grandma Tractor with Bean.

I love this picture of Grandpa and G sitting on a bench in the Sacred Grove. G loves his Paca!

Goose always manages to find the biggest caterpillars in the Grove. This one immediately rolled into a ball when Goose picked it up.

Baptism Interview

Today G had his baptism interview with the Bishop, G can hardly wait to be baptized. It seems crazy that this is happening! Where did the time go? Thank you to all the family who emailed me testimonies, I can't wait to give all of them to G!

Halloween Crafts at the Library

Fakers!

All Leaves for Sale

Goose made a sign and decided to try and sale all of his leaves. I love how he taped it to the grass. Next time I'll have to tell him to at least put the sign in a place people can see.

Bean and Goose had fun playing pin the leaf on the tree and a game they invented called "The contest of the leaves."

The kids had the day off of school yesterday. I love having them all home! The day was beautiful, we enjoyed playing in the leaves and making leaf pictures.

Raking Leaves

Goose woke up in the morning and told me he was going to go surprise our neighbor and rake up all their leaves. G and Bean helped bag, and they hid the evidence in the front of our house.