Remembering Maxwell and feeling blessed......

The other night I was lying in my bed sobbing in my pillow. Every once in a while I just need a good cry. My heart felt heavy as I remembered the events of 2005 that would forever change my life for the better. The month of October and November was quite interesting and life changing to say the least. In just a few weeks time, our son passed away,after receiving 68 units of blood my life was sparred, we planned a funeral,we buried our child in the cold November ground, Jeremy lost his job, I got the news that I should physically not carry any more children, due to complications at Maxwell's birth my health suffered and I was in and out of the emergency room, large medical bills began to arrive daily in the mailbox and to make a really really long story short someone demanded several thousand dollars from us. If we didn't pay it that week which just so happened to be while Maxwell and I were in the hospital then this particular person would take us to court. Jeremy and I felt vulnerable we knew without a doubt if we went to court we would without a doubt win. This particular man was a crook. However, that is the very LAST thing we wanted on our minds. We chose to pay him, giving him what he wanted, we just didn't have it in us to fight. It was a series of awesome events. Ha! I'm not writing this for you to feel bad or get sympathy. I am writing to document. To document how my Savior did not leave me comfortless. How my Savior knows me, how He loves me and how involved He personally is in the events that happen throughout my life and throughout all of our lives. I can honestly say that this particular time in Jeremy and my life was the most beauifully bittersweet times of our entire lives. I'm not going to lie it was extrememly painful and heart wrenching however, I have never felt closer to my Father in Heaven and Savior Jesus Christ than I did in October of 2005 and while all these events were unfolding. I know that God lives and I know Jesus is the Christ. I am grateful for trials and tribulations that come my way and that will continue to come my way. They mold us and shape us and give us opportunities to grow. During this difficult time I felt angels all around me lifting me up and carrying me day to day. Jeremy and I both physically felt the power of prayers that people offered in our behalf. I have never felt any thing quite like it. It was tangible. If that is what heaven is like, that is where I want to one day be. For Maxwell only being on the earth for such a short time I learned so much and continue to learn. I am so grateful for the experiences I have had to stretch and grow. Back to my original thought, I don't love it when Jeremy see's me cry. I don't know why, I just don't. Of course as I was crying in my pillow trying to pretend I wasn't :) Jeremy asked me what was the matter. I told him that I was just thinking of little Maxwell. He held me in his arms and we talked. We talked about that day and the series of events. We talked and remembered laughing while walking into the hospital to deliver. Looking back I remember the hallway being empty and piano music playing, it seems somewhat like a dream. We laughed about how Jeremy made fun of how I waddled and we joked how our fourth child would shortly be born and our oldest just turned 5 only 5 days prior. We thought we were so in control of our lives. While walking into the hospital I vividly remember telling Jeremy we were going to wait at LEAST a year in half before we got pregnant with number five and then we could have the rest of our children close just like we did the others. I feel so guilty now for saying that, how ignorant I was to think that pregancy was just so easy and I could have all the little children I desired to have. Heavenly Father nipped that in the bud real quick!Life at the time seemed to be going right as planned! Ha, that is so funny to me now to think that I really thought I was in control!! We now know Heavenly Father is in charge and knows what is best for us. I know that little Oliver is my son and a member of our family, I am so grateful for the opportunity to adopt and if this series of events didn't happen who knows if we would have adopted. Things are falling into place perfectly because we have allowed our Father in Heaven to be in charge. How grateful we are and truly if rightly considered what a blessing it is to have a child pass away. Jeremy and I know exactly where Maxwell is. Without a doubt we know that he is living with our Father in Heaven and Savior Jesus Christ. Without a doubt we know that he will live forever and ever. Without a doubt we know that he will be living in the Celestial kingdom. What an enormous blessing it brings to Jeremy and I to KNOW that one of our children has made it to the celestial kingdom. What an enormous blessing it is to have a child so very perfect that he already passed the test, that he doesn't have to physically live on this earth and go through all the heart ache and pain that earth life brings. Maxwell is in God's presence. Maxwell was too pure and perfect to live on this earth. He was sent to get his body and then our Father in Heaven needed him back. His mission was complete once he got his little body and donated his heart and other organs to two other little boys, who's missions weren't quite completed. That was Maxwell's mission. What a beautifully perfect plan. How grateful I am for an all knowing Father in Heaven and Savior Jesus Christ. It is an honor to be the parents of an angel baby. We feel incredibly blessed to have had this happen in our lives. It has changed my perspective on life and family. Life is so good. Although, I still think of Maxwell daily and catch myself still crying on my way to Walmart or other random places, they are happy tears. I know who I am, I know God's plan and I know that my family is forever. Now I just need to make sure that myself as well as my individual family is doing everything we can to keep the commandments so we can return and live in God's prescence as well as Maxwell's. We love you so very much Maxwell. Happy 6th birthday! Until we meet again, and I know we will.... Love, Mom

The Primary Program-I Know the Scriptures are True

Our ward Primary Program was last Sunday on the 23rd. We had lots of special guests in attendance. Sister Rosemary Wixom, the General Primary President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, the children's school librarian as well as one of the children's school teachers from their school. The program was excellent. One of the children told of the time when Jesus blessed all the little children one by one. I got a little choked up seeing all those little children singing and talking about the Savior. The Primary Program is always one of my favorite Sunday's.

Sister Wixom talking to Bean and her friend.

The three older children did great with their talks! Grant along with his friend were the narrators.


Here is the Jr. Primary with the General Primary President, Sister Rosemary Wixom.

Here is the Senior Primary with the General Primary President Sister Rosemary Wixom.

Time Out for Women in Rochester

On Friday a group of us headed to Rochester to Time Out for Women. Although, I came home exhausted we had a great time! I jotted down some things that really stuck out to me during the conference.
John Bytheway:
To do list should really be a To Be List.
Surround yourselves with greatness.
Choose to become delightful
Instead of telling God how big my problem is, I can tell my problem how big God is.
Hillary Weeks:
On average we have 300 negative thoughts a day.
The devil has a hard time getting to us if we know who we are.
After you pray really sit and listen. This is an opportunity to get answers.
Look on people's hearts the way Heavenly Father does.
Give people the benefit of the doubt.
Love is the most powerful source in the universe.
The Book of Mormon will remind you of who you really are.
Watch yourselves and your thoughts. If you think it chances are you will act.
A Mother's love is the refuge from the storm.
John Sweat:
God tests everyone uniquely and equally.
Purpose of the plan is to become like God.
Weaknesses can become strengths.
Sometimes the biggest trial is a life of ease and luxury.
Don't forget God and pray always.
All of us are given the personal trials that we need to grow and become more like the Savior.
Don't compare yourselves to others.
Focus on what you have and be grateful.
To be fair, don't compare.
Genesis 30:22-God remembered Rachel and Rachel ended up having a baby Joseph.
Enjoy your children they are only little for just a short time.
How can a person possibly become what he is not thinking? *Spencer W. Kimball
The greatest mystery is to know how to control the human mind. *Brigham Young
Wendy Ulrich:
Be grateful
When children make a mistake ask, "What did you learn?"
Are you applying the answers that you received from prayer?
When the kids get home from school try asking them, "Who did you help today?"
Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured. *Gordon B. Hinckley
Savor everyday delights.
Listen to the spirit when it prompts you to do something.
There is peace when you go to sleep and know that you have accomplished what Heavenly Father wants you to do that day.
It's ok to let the phone ring.
Focus on what's important
Spend time with children.
Chris Belcher:
You can feel Heavenly Fathers love during trials.
This life is worth struggling through.
Whatever problem you have you can take it to the Lord.
The Brother of Jared praised God day and night. He looked to the Lord.
Look to God and Live.
Focus on everything good.
Before doing anything Pray to God
As you look to God and seek Him, you will have more light in your life.
This conference was amazing, I learned so much and was reminded of so many things that are so important. On top of it all I was surrounded by greatness, I feel so grateful for wonderful friends. I look forward to going again!


I'm pretty sad that my really close friend just HAD to move to Pennyslvania. :( It was so great to see her, and I can't wait to see her at Thanksgiving!!!


Dinosaur BBQ just so happened to be right down the street from the conference so we got some take out.

Adoption-Final Interview!!

Today our family had the final adoption interview. Now our social worker will write our homestudy which will take around 2 weeks. Once that is written we are approved to adopt and can start searching and praying to find our birthmother. We are excited to start the process. We feel the same as we did when we were waiting for Oliver to join our family. We just know in our hearts and feel so strongly that we have another little baby.

Dance Costume Party

Bean was so excited to go to dance this afternoon, especially because it was a costume party!

Happy 11th Birthday Granny!!!

It is really hard to believe that Granny turned 11! He was born a month early weighing in at a wopping 5 pounds 13 ounces. He was so tiny, it is hard to believe that now he is tipping the scale at 96 pounds. Grant seriously is one funny boy! He constantly has me in stitches with all of his jokes and sense of humor. Grant has a great attitude towards life and learning. He loves sports,eating,reading and playing his cello. I am thankful Grant's birthday only comes once a year. It is quite exhausting! He left me a little list of what he wants for his birthday breakfast and dinner and I thought I would share. For breakfast:hashbrowns, chocolate chip pancakes with raspberry jam and hot cocoa with large mellows. For dinner: Sprite with real limes and grenadine in it. stuffing, chicken adobo, rice, shrimp, rolls, lo-mein,Caesar salad, green beans and for dessert apple crisp on top of vanilla ice-cream. The 24th of October is really like a Thanksgiving for our family. Although, it is a ton of work, I love cooking for him because he seriously looks forward to his once a year feast. I overheard Granny telling his Grandma Sugar that he gained at least 5 pounds after eating his birthday feast. We love you Grant!
Make A Wish!

Goose was trying to blow out Granny's candles.

I can't believe there are 11 candles! Grant requested apple crisp with vanilla ice-cream for dessert. The perfect fall dessert for sure!

For Grant's birthday he got books. He loves books and is constantly reading.
Grant has been wanting to read The Lord of the Rings Series, and now he finally has his own copy.

Ender's Game....

Grant has been wanting the Eragon book series for quite some time. He was so happy to get them! He is already talking about the 4th book and made sure I knew it was coming out in November, just in time for Christmas.

Grant was pretty excited about the tabletop catapult he got!

While trying to get Grant's picture Oliver tried to get in every picture. Look at him, he's hysterical!

Jeremy with the chickens.

Granny was so happy to get phone calls from all of his grandparents.

Here Granny is leading us in his birthday song. He seriously cracks me up!

Granny got to eat on the red You are Special plate because it's his birthday. Here he is with some of his dinner. I can't believe how much this boy of mine can eat!

Granny sippin on his cocoa with 3 large mellows.

For his breakfast in bed Grant requested chocolate chip pancakes with raspberry jam,a glass of milk,hashbrowns and a mug of cocoa with large mellows.

Families are Forever

Today is a special day for our family. One year ago, Oliver George was sealed to our family in the Palmyra, New York temple. It truly was an incredible experience for our family. Oliver has changed our lives and has added so much joy to our family. It has been such a blessing to be able to talk to the older children about that special day as a family in the temple. I hope they always remember the beauty, cleanliness and the incredible spirit that they felt in their hearts that day.I am so grateful for temples and the blessing knowing that death is not the end and that our families are forever. This brings me incredible peace and happiness knowing that I can be with those I love in the eternities. What a blessing it is to be members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

Mother Daughter Party, Makeup and Hair

A few weekends back Jeremy took the boys on a father son date and Bean and I had our own mother/daughter party at home. It was perfect. We got a couple slices of pizza from Besta Pizza (our favorite) and I made Mac & Cheese because that goes perfectly with pizza right? We watched Judy Moody, Bean loves the books and of course we did each other's hair complete with topsie tails, side ponies and buns with sparkly pencils. A girls night out couldn't be complete without putting way too much makeup & red lipstick on each other.

We laughed our heads off and chewed cinnamon gum all night.

Bean checking out her "sweet" topsie tail.

Bean especially liked my hair in a bun with a sparkly penicl through it, her second favorite was the side pony. Of course she insisted that she do my makeup as well.

Scouting

I really really really love the scouting program. I am grateful for Jeremy who takes the time to work on the books with the boys. I hope my boys will follow in their father's footsteps and choose to eventually earn their Eagle. I remember that being on the "list" of qualities I wanted in my future husband. I was happy when Jeremy told me that he had earned his Eagle. Cause lets be honest I woudn't have married him if he didn't know how to build a fire and survive in the wilderness. Totally teasing,but it did help. I hope all my sons will follow their father's example. Congratulations Goose and Granny for earning your Bear and Webelo! We are so proud of you!!!!! P.S.I love that Chief marched right up there with his big brother's, it looks like he's awaiting his badge and handshake.

Goose pinning me with his Bear pin. Way to go Goose on all your hard work!

Goose...

Granny...

Chief playing ball at the church with his daddy.

Chief's love of Shoes, Cleaning and the Iron

Did I mention Chief has a love for anyone's shoes but his? Here he is sporting his big brother's shoes. I love this little guy,and every day I catch myself telling him that I am the luckiest mom in the entire world. It's true.

Not only is he adorable, but he cleans too! I'm telling you one day he will be quite the catch! :) Here he is washing my sliding glass door. He also likes to push the vaccuum around the house, I'm tempted to plug it in and he can go to town.

Chief loves to play with the iron. Before you panic,it's not plugged in. He loves to drive the iron all over the house. It is quite cute that in Chief's world everything can be used as a vehicle.

The Great Pumpkin Search at Kelkenburg Farms

A few weeks ago when the weather was in the 70's we headed to the farm to pick our pumpkins. The kids had a great time and I had a even funner time taking these pictures, especially those of Goose.

Goose not thinking I was funny by not taking the pumpkin from him. Me laughing my head off watching Goose trying to carry that huge thing. Mean I know. Thankfully, he didn't drop it and yes I did carry it back to the wagon for him.



Love this picture! :)




After searching and searching Granny ended up with this beauty.


Bean found the perfect little pumpkin.

Bean inspecting the pumpkin looking for slugs.

Such a large pumpkin patch, so many choices....

This is the one!


Loving my little Chief.

Me and my chickens at the farm.

Tractor ride out to the pumpkin patch....

Goose loved sticking his arm out to try and reach the leaves. I remember doing this when I was a girl on the way to my grandma's home in South Weber, Utah.

Chief and I (Goose in the background) on the wagon ride out to the pumpkin patch.

Going to wash their pumpkins...

Bean and Goose scrubbing the mud off their pumpkins.